Monday, May 21, 2012

Finish Year - Week 16

Be vulnerable.

Vulnerable: 1: capable of being physically or emotionally wounded 

                   2
: open to attack or damage 
(Late Latin vulnerabilis, from Latin vulnerare to wound, fromvulner-, vulnus wound; probably akin to Latin vellere to pluck)
Really, who would choose to be vulnerable? Open to attack or damage? Are we not taught from a young age to protect ourselves? Is it not our natural instinct of self-preservation that causes us to shy away from being vulnerable to the core? 
Yet, when we allow ourselves to be open to damage--to be emotionally wounded--is this not the place that the most growth happens? I may be married but if I keep myself guarded emotionally, how am I truly going to grow in intimacy with my husband? If he does the same, where does that leave us? 
I need to trust. 
Will I get hurt? Wounded? You bet. However, it's not my husband, friend, relative, that I am counting on to make me whole. It is God. Jesus. The comfort & wisdom of the Holy Spirit. What I truly need to do is trust that God loves me, holds me in His hand, and He knows every tear that I shed (or bury). If I close myself off from being vulnerable, I miss out on growing closer to the beauty He made for me to experience. 
What does it mean for me? Opening up more and more to my husband and those around me. It also means. as I write, getting attached to the characters i develop and allow myself to feel what they might feel. Growing with them. What would they fear? How would they feel? 
Intimacy. It doesn't come without being vulnerable.
Is it scary? Yes. 
However, "Fear means you're not focusing on what you're doing, you're focusing on the consequences of failing at what you're doing." ~ Matthew Childs

If you would like, you can listen to Matthew Childs' 9 Life lessons from Rock Climbing: (The quote? Jump to 02:35 in the timeline). 

Or you can go to the link: 
Click on the "Play (from 02:36)" button directly under the quote if you don't want to watch the entire clip. 


As for Finish Year:
~ Novel writing is an adventure & I'm loving it! My characters are coming together slowly but it is fun to feel them come to life!
~ Ministry: I am beginning to piece together the plan for Volunteer Coordinator in our Children's Ministry. Woohoo!
~ Bible: Made it through Judges. Now reading through 1st Samuel. 
~ We got a dog. Exercise? Check!
~ Husband: what an awesome guy! He arranged a beautiful anniversary trip back to the location where we were married. It was a beautiful weekend getaway! 

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