Finish Year - Week 16

Be vulnerable.

Vulnerable: 1: capable of being physically or emotionally wounded 

                   2

: open to attack or damage 

(Late Latin vulnerabilis, from Latin vulnerare to wound, fromvulner-, vulnus wound; probably akin to Latin vellere to pluck)

Really, who would choose to be vulnerable? Open to attack or damage? Are we not taught from a young age to protect ourselves? Is it not our natural instinct of self-preservation that causes us to shy away from being vulnerable to the core? 

Yet, when we allow ourselves to be open to damage--to be emotionally wounded--is this not the place that the most growth happens? I may be married but if I keep myself guarded emotionally, how am I truly going to grow in intimacy with my husband? If he does the same, where does that leave us? 

I need to trust. 

Will I get hurt? Wounded? You bet. However, it's not my husband, friend, relative, that I am counting on to make me whole. It is God. Jesus. The comfort & wisdom of the Holy Spirit. What I truly need to do is trust that God loves me, holds me in His hand, and He knows every tear that I shed (or bury). If I close myself off from being vulnerable, I miss out on growing closer to the beauty He made for me to experience. 

What does it mean for me? Opening up more and more to my husband and those around me. It also means. as I write, getting attached to the characters i develop and allow myself to feel what they might feel. Growing with them. What would they fear? How would they feel? 

Intimacy. It doesn't come without being vulnerable.

Is it scary? Yes. 

However, "Fear means you're not focusing on what you're doing, you're focusing on the consequences of failing at what you're doing." ~ Matthew Childs

If you would like, you can listen to Matthew Childs' 9 Life lessons from Rock Climbing: (The quote? Jump to 02:35 in the timeline). 

Or you can go to the link: 

http://www.ted.com/talks/matthew_childs_9_rules_of_rock_climbing.html?quote=472

Click on the "Play (from 02:36)" button directly under the quote if you don't want to watch the entire clip. 

As for Finish Year:

~ Novel writing is an adventure & I'm loving it! My characters are coming together slowly but it is fun to feel them come to life!

~ Ministry: I am beginning to piece together the plan for Volunteer Coordinator in our Children's Ministry. Woohoo!

~ Bible: Made it through Judges. Now reading through 1st Samuel. 

~ We got a dog. Exercise? Check!

~ Husband: what an awesome guy! He arranged a beautiful anniversary trip back to the location where we were married. It was a beautiful weekend getaway! 

Finish Year - Week 13

Write, write, write! That's all that's been on my mind lately but for some reason I find that I'm not sitting down to do it! Really? I know that the gift is stirred inside of me though. Every time I pick up James Scott Bell's book(s) I get all excited! So, Lord, I pray that you would help me see and set aside the time to write. I pray that if it is not the season to write, right now, that you would continue to stir this passion and teach me through every day experiences. Thank you for the family that fills up my time. Thank you for the kids that stretch my Mom Skills to their limits and beyond, thus growing me more than I thought possible. God, I thank you for your Freedom that I have in you and the I get to worship you! THAT is such a privilege! I know I couldn't go a day without worship to you and those days that are light on it...yea, I can feel myself getting wrapped up in the web of "my world" instead of seeing as you see. Please don't let me get caught up in the chaos the the kids make of my brain sometimes and to keep my focus on You as I train them up for You to use. I love you!

Amen.

~ Write a novel.
This year I will write a novel, set in England in the 1800's ... or Rome, 64 AD, set to the backdrop of the Great Fire. For more on the Great Fire: http://www.eyewitnesstohistory.com/rome.htm.
Read another book -- for research, of course -- but didn't get much done on writing. I did do a little brainstorming on novel ideas. That's always fun! I also celebrated with MaryLu Tyndall on her submission of yet another novel to her publishers. Woo hoo!

~ Ministry.
I have a HUGE passion to see people be who God created them to be. Each of us is unique and we each have a different part to play.
I am very excited to be taking on a new volunteer position at church that will allow me to use my passion for seeing people get connected and using their gifts! Woo hoo!
~ Get in shape.
I stretched twice this week. Yea. I suppose as soon as I'm done here I should go do that again. 

~ Bible.
This year I will read through the major players of the Old Testament (Survey of the Old Testament) as well as the books of the Bible I haven't read thus far in my life.
Still going through Judges. I read through Ruth also. Did you know the story of Ruth happens around the same time as Giddeon's story? That's why Boaz was sleeping on the Threshing floor, to protect the crop from the invading nation.

I have always been a fan of the story of Ruth. I wonder if her family was really that into the god worship of the country or if they talked about Yahweh and that's why she was so open to experiencing Him? I love the love story of Ruth. Someday I may write a story about it...maybe. Something about it just captivates me.

Do you have a book or story in the Bible that captivates you?

~ Grow closer than ever to my husband (we're both pretty individualistic people so this is a good step).

Had a GREAT date day on Sunday. The first date day we've had for three weeks, wow! I don't think I've laughed that much in a while; felt good!

Finish Year - Week 12

~ Write a novel.
This year I will write a novel, set in England in the 1800's ... or Rome, 64 AD, set to the backdrop of the Great Fire. For more on the Great Fire: http://www.eyewitnesstohistory.com/rome.htm.
I thoroughly enjoyed re-reading Deborah Hale's novella, Much Ado About Nuptials (The Wedding Season). I wrote a summary of each chapter in order to look at how she structured & paced her story. 
I read Making Waves, by Lorna Seilstad.  What was frustrating to me was that her main character was taken directly from a previously created character from a movie. Name and job! Also, the Lead female, in both movie and story, lies to Trip which is their main source of conflict.  Sorry. To me that's a BIG no no. See if you can guess it: name--Trip Andrews. Job--Sailboats. Hazel eyes. Sandy colored hair. 
The story finally picked up my interest about 1/2 way through and I enjoyed the 2nd half enough to read her next book.  What's amazing to me is that days after I find myself still thinking about her Leads. How can I be frustrated at the start of a book and in love with the characters at the end?  That's why I read; to find what I feel works and doesn't work so that I know what I want my novels to look like. 

~ Ministry.
I have a HUGE passion to see people be who God created them to be. Each of us is unique and we each have a different part to play.
Looking forward to teaching another class in a month or so! I think I may take a slightly different route to the "who God created you to be" by looking at different people in the Bible (their personalities, stories, family life, what shaped them into being who they were) and understanding them at a deeper level. We'll use that to take a look at our own lives.

~ Get in shape.
Bad week for this one...again. I took 20 minutes to stretch this morning and need to make that more routine!

~ Bible.
This year I will read through the major players of the Old Testament (Survey of the Old Testament) as well as the books of the Bible I haven't read thus far in my life.
Still going through Judges. 


I had some thoughts on Joshua this week. I wonder if he was a processor? You know those people who wont make a decision unless first presented with the idea and then left to process it for a couple days..at least.   
Joshua had an experience with God: Now when Joshua was near Jericho, he looked up and saw a man standing in front of him with a drawn sword in his hand. Joshua went up to him and asked, “Are you for us or for our enemies?”
  “Neither,” he replied, “but as commander of the army of the LORD I have now come.” Then Joshua fell facedown to the ground in reverence, and asked him, “What message does my Lord^[a] have for his servant?”
 The commander of the LORD’s army replied, “Take off your sandals, for the place where you are standing is holy.” And Joshua did so. (Joshua 5:13-15)


This encounter happened before the fall of Jericho. Do you think Joshua would have been no-questions-asked about the battle plan had this encounter not happened? Maybe. But if Joshua was a processor, he needed to have this encounter with God to 1) know God was with him -- especially when asked to take the city in such a non-militant way, 2) to have that personal reminder that God was leading this army, not Joshua.


Joshua's journey had been unique--second in command--for a long time. How did these events and his personality effect his ministry (the taking of the promised land)?



~ Grow closer than ever to my husband (we're both pretty individualistic people so this is a good step).
I guess we slacked on this one. No reading, little prayer time together, light conversations. There ARE those weeks when work is crazy for him and he just needs to relax and de-stress. I wish there were a dry, warm golf course I could send him to. 


It is always good to be able to step back and see the situation as a whole. We have been stepping up as a couple in leadership in the church and simultaneously, the problems at work have been unceasing. They are getting better but the work to repair "the damage" is time consuming. If he doesn't come home and be all light-hearted and flirty...it's ok. It's not me. (Which, a long while ago, I would have thought. "oh, he's not talking to me! What did I do wrong to make him so mad?!" No...he's just tired.  "oh.") 


Anyone else have that personality?

Finish Year - Week 9

Ah, vacation. With all it's joys, struggles, times to be places, family stress...it's still an awesome thing to have. I am so very thankful to have this opportunity to be here on the Florida coast.

Last night my husband and I took a moonlit walk on the beach, laid out a blanket, and basked in the sound of the waves around us and the star-studded sky above us. God is so big. To listen to the coming and going of the waves, considering the tide and how it works; then to gaze up and wonder at how vast the night sky is--all of its stars, planets, rotations, universes. Huge. Amazing. And He that created it all, created me. Knows my dreams, my heart aches, my fears, my joys. I am so thankful. So humbled. So in awe.


~ Write a novel.
This year I will write a novel, set in England in the 1800's.
Did a couple more excesses this week. I have a compilation of ideas for characters that is forming (some songs that represent them, bible verses that represent their struggle, etc.) Entered a small writing contest with Writer's Digeset. Their big one is due May 1st; I'd better get on that one.

~ Ministry.
I have a HUGE passion to see people be who God created them to be. Each of us is unique and we each have a different part to play.
Read a small section of a new book on coaching and have my first person lined up as my guinea pig!( her words, not mine!)


~ Get in shape.
Maybe I should go join the weather aerobics in the mornings while I'm here. :)

~ Bible.
This year I will read through the major players of the Old Testament (Survey of the Old Testament) as well as the books of the Bible I haven't read thus far in my life.
Dove into Judges this week.

~ Grow closer than ever to my husband (we're both pretty individualistic people so this is a good step).
Our walk on the beach lead to some great discussion that opened us up to talking about our pasts. I am so thankful for a husband who is an open book to me. My heart safely trusts in him.
We talked about family vacations when we were kids and then he started talking about baseball (because he missed opening day on one of the family vacations as a kid). I LOVE hearing him talk about the things he's passionate about!

Finish Year - Week 8

What a great week. I had my 33rd birthday on Thursday. Did you know that Jefferson wrote the Declaration of Independence at 33? Someone commented, "And what about Jesus?" My response: "Uh, He died. Thanks." 


But in reality, Jesus' 33rd year was a very powerful year of ministry. I am believing for the same. My novel is started. I am pursuing coaching. I feel doors are opening and a fresh breeze is wafting in with their opening.


~ Write a novel.
This year I will write a novel, set in England in the 1800's.
I started my writing exercises this week; finished 3 of them over 7 days. Not as many as I wanted to finish--I was hoping for one a day--but it feels good getting into them! I am going through Conflict & Suspense by James Scott Bell.  AMAZING! If you're looking for someone to help strengthen your writing, he comes highly recommended from my author friends.

~ Ministry.

I have a HUGE passion to see people be who God created them to be. Each of us is unique and we each have a different part to play.
A wonderful friend of mine gave me a book for my birthday last week about Coaching. I am so excited to dive into this!


~ Get in shape.
I quit my gym membership.
No, it's not as bad as it seems. My family and I went and got our Belay licenses and have been to the climbing gym 4 times already. It's a blast to see the little ones on the rocks.

~ Bible.
This year I will read through the major players of the Old Testament (Survey of the Old Testament) as well as the books of the Bible I haven't read thus far in my life.
Eh, could have been better this week. Nothing memorable.

~ Grow closer than ever to my husband (we're both pretty individualistic people so this is a good step).
Going to the climbing gym has been an awesome experience to do with my husband; it's one of his passions. To be involved in something that he loves so much (and to be able to involve those precious little creations we made) is truly a blessing. I love how much he loves that we are doing this together! It's beautiful. 
What is something you can do with your spouse that shows you love and value who he/she is?